6 Ways to Provide Support When Living With a Partner in Recovery
Living with a partner in recovery can be incredibly tough. But whether they’re at the beginning of their recovery journey or decades in, it is important to know the best ways to help them – and you – navigate the difficult times ahead.
As with any journey, recovery can often be a path with highs and lows, and you have to be vigilant not to allow your focus on your partner’s recovery to take over your life. You need to remain mentally healthy yourself if you’re going to be able to support a partner.
Recovery is not something you can do on behalf of someone else; they have to want it and work hard for it every day.
You can help, advise and support, but you must not try to take too much on your shoulders. Understanding how and when to help and when to step back are both equally important. Above all, open and honest communication both ways is crucial to make any relationship work.
Refrain From Judgement As Much As Possible
Many people in recovery from drugs or alcohol feel they are judged by loved ones. It is vital to foster an environment of acceptance and understanding and leave negativity at the door. This doesn’t mean you have to accept and support all of their decisions, but being able to discuss them without judgement is crucial for healthy and productive dialogue.
Help With Forming Healthy Habits
Living a healthy lifestyle can be invaluable for people in recovery, but it can also be tough to start good habits alone. Having someone with you, making the same changes, can be invaluable – for both you and your partner.
You could start by getting into the habit of regular exercise together. Exercise can be excellent for mental health, which is crucial for both you and your partner. Great options to start with include:
- Yoga – the meditative elements of yoga make it an excellent option for the body and mind
- Walking – if you or your partner haven’t been active in a while, this can be a great way to get started, especially if you are able to walk in the countryside – or even a local park.
- Cycling – a fun and low-impact way to get your heart pumping
Eating the right food is also incredibly important. You are both going through a stressful situation and keeping your mental and physical reserves as strong as possible is essential, and that can include understanding what foods help to reduce stress.
Use Drug Testing For Accountability
For people in the early stages of recovery, relapse is often more likely.
As a partner, you may feel like there has been trust lost in your relationship that you would like to regain. A good way to rebuild this trust could be through drug testing. You should sit down with your partner to discuss this and explain how taking regular tests, like a hair strand test, will help you rebuild your trust and help them with accountability. AlphaBiolabs, for example, offer quick, cost-effective and highly accurate hair drug test options that can help you and your loved one build a culture of trust and accountability at home.
Keep Your Home Substance-Free
This one may go without saying, but you’d be surprised by how many people think it’s okay to have bottles of alcohol in the home with someone in recovery. Regardless of whether your partner’s issue was with alcohol or drugs, it is best to keep your home entirely free of any mind-altering substance – legal or not. You can also politely but firmly set this boundary with anyone who might come to stay with you.
Talk To A Professional
It can be easy for all of your time and energy to be devoted to helping your partner when they’re going through a rough patch. However, there is a risk that if you do this regularly, you could become co-dependent.
You need to ensure that your own mental health is protected so that you can continue to be there for your partner in a way that truly helps them. Getting help from a therapist can be an excellent way for you to work through your own feelings about your partner’s recovery. It can be an invaluable resource to have someone objective to discuss the things you’re going through.
Find Fun New Sober Activities To Enjoy
For many couples, a date night is not complete without a drink or two. This will not be possible for a partner in recovery, so you’ll need to find new and exciting things to do that keep that spark alive without alcohol; you might even find that you enjoy sober date nights even more.
There are plenty of things you could do that don’t involve alcohol, including going for a delicious meal, visiting a local alcohol-free bar (yes, they exist!) and going to the cinema.
The Takeaway
There’s no reason that you and your partner can’t live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life as you help them on their road to recovery. It is important to remember your own mental health throughout and avoid the risks of becoming co-dependent.
Addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a condition that affects many millions of people worldwide. Fostering a relationship that is built on honesty, respect, and support is crucial for a healthy life together when you are living with a partner in recovery.